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what is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

well... let's be honest here.  i'm only 19.  i haven't really had much life experience yet.  but i figure i haven't written about how hard it was for me to move away from home.  i'm not sure if it was the hardest thing i've ever been through, but it was definitely hard.

i looooooooove where i live.  heber valley is a beautiful, safe, wonderful place with so many memories and people i love.  i was excited to go to BYU, but at the same time, i was scared out of my mind.  completely terrified.  i didn't want to leave my little valley!

august 24, 2011 -- moving day.  i was in tears all day long.  my dad gave me a blessing, and we loaded up the car.  about 1:00 we made the trek down to provo.  from 1:00 to 6:00 we were running errands.  grocery shopping, getting my key, getting my ID card, getting me a new phone, etc.  we unloaded everything at my apartment, but no one was there yet.  i was so nervous to meet my roommates.  what if they were weird?  or worse, what if they were brats?  i felt like i was taking a huge chance, going to school and rooming with people i didn't know. 

at 6:00 when my parents and sister left, there was still no one at my apartment.  there was a barbecue going on in the center of wyview, so i walked over there by myself, feeling out of place and very very alone.  (remember my fears?  i don't like being alone.)  i found berg, and hung out with her and her roommates for awhile.  i remember really liking them and hoping that mine would be nice like hers.  then i texted my roommate dana.  we found each other and introduced ourselves.  then i met morgan, melina, and haley.  they seemed nice enough.

that night, as i read my scriptures and got into bed, i cried again.  i didn't like my small room.  i didn't like that someone i didn't know was sleeping above me.  i didn't like that i wasn't at home.  i didn't like my cramped apartment.  i felt more alone than i have ever felt in my life.

over the next few days, as i went and bought books and went to new student orientation, i felt equally lonely.  my feeling was that no one knew where i was, and worse, no one cared.  tears came as easily as breathing did those first few days.  living with other girls was kind of awkward.  finding my way around campus was confusing.  i was the typical freshman with a map in front of my face and my backpack loaded up with textbooks.  school was hard.  life was hard.  i missed my family and i missed my friends. 

however hard and uncomfortable and challenging the first 2 weeks were, i quickly became accustomed to life as a college student.  and what i found was that i absolutely LOVED it.  my roommates became my best friends.  i grew to adore my apartment and my tiny room.  life couldn't have been any better. 

this experience was a lesson to me that we are given hard things in our lives to make us grow.  and no matter how much i hate the experience at the moment, i am able to look back with wiser hindsight and say that i am so grateful for these trials that have shaped the woman i am becoming.