i was walking across the stage of the wasatch county events center.  diploma in hand.  mixed feelings.
i was so excited and yet so nervous for the next stage in my life.
i was sad to say goodbye to some people.
i was happy to say goodbye to others.
i was not sure what the next year of my life would bring me.
i was not sure how i felt about leaving wasatch high school.
i wanted to freeze time and have the summer go by slower than any other.
i was one happy, happy girl.  and the happiness was mixed with bittersweet memories.

and now... i feel like a different person.  my life has changed so much in one short year.  i no longer want the same things i wanted back then.  i have shifted perspectives and am looking ahead to the future with optimism.  it's weird to think back to just a year ago and the changes i've made within that year.

i wonder what the next year will bring.

it's an extremely insane thought.

good luck class of 2012!  i hope the years to come bring you what you've always wanted and wished for! :)



it is always so good to see morgan! 

don't judge our matching "love is beautiful" shirts or my asian eyes :)

love love love love love love LOVE you morgie poo!!! 


17 & 18 OF 30

#17:  what is the thing you most wish you were good at?

accomplishing things that i want to do.  so much of the time i give up what i want most for what i want at the moment.  NOT a good trait.  i get so caught up in the moment that i don't stop and think about the consequences or how this will get in the way of my good goals.  man..  i'm really working on this one.

#18:  what is the most difficult thing you've ever had to forgive?

i don't really like this question, because it requires me to pinpoint someone or something that i have held a grudge against, and i don't want to admit that {even to myself, because i may still be trying to forgive them!}  but maybe one of the hardest things i've found in life is the ability to forgive myself.  i beat myself up on a daily basis for big and little things that i've done that i know are wrong.  it's so hard sometimes to forgive myself.  i think i'm not good enough and that's that.  forgiveness = near impossible.

buuttt.... I KNOW that is just stupid old Satan working his power on me.  he's such a jerk.  he knows just what to whisper to me to make me start doubting myself and remembering things that should be forgotten.

today, i will start to do both of these things:

a)  remember that what i want most exceeds what i want at the moment.

b)  remember that i can forgive myself and let go of the past.

"the future is as bright as your faith." --president thomas s. monson



forgot i had all these lovely photos!  dang.. enjoy these!  they are all keepers fo sho!

jewels.. you love me. tons. bahaha!

photo booth for iPhone! good thing the light makes me look like i have a very shiny forehead.

a very, very, very attractive picture of some special friends of mine.

once, we went grocery shopping... and realized that the groceries weren't really gonna fit in the car unless we put me in first and piled them around me.  this isn't even an accurate representation of how squished i was, surrounded by groceries.

a night on the town with john wayne of course!  my winter coat likes to make me look chub.

i must have been just sooo fed up with finals.  yeah.... we'll go with that.



and the awkward couple of the year award goes to... haley and riley!!  applause all around! {and the awkward photographer award goes to yours truly.. i can be seen in the mirror!}

a very typical dinner.

check out what i was lookin' at on campus during finals week.  bee-you-ti-ful.

hahaha melina crawled under the bed and got stuck! and we, being the good friends that we are, stood there and laughed and took pictures instead of helping her :)

'bye wyview.  you treated me real good.  i sure do miss ya.

uh.. yeah.  that's my sister.  and that's the frozen yogurt bar at the Store.  and she had to crawl IN there to get something that fell.  yum!

some post-school-and-finals shopping! 

ps.  most of these were taken on my piece of junkola phone.  so they're pretty bad quality.  it's fine.
yay for old and forgotten and hilarious pictures!

16 OF 30

what are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

hmm... i don't think i'll put them in order.  because i'm not sure what the order is, exactly.  i'm not even sure if these are my 5 greatest, maybe i should call this "5 of my great accomplishments that come to mind right now."  so here they are, NOT in order:

numba one:  sterling scholar.  probably the most stressed i've ever been.  for one entire day.. wait, back up.  for months and months i put together my portfolio.  i think i redid it probably 15 times. at least.  and then on that day {the dreaded day}, i had to go to coalville to north summit high school and wait around for houuuuurrrssss before i could have my interview.  nailed the interview.  the actual announcement of who won english?  i thought i was gonna get up on stage and pee.  or throw up.  and guess what... i didn't even win.  i got runner up!  honestly, the stress and relief and hard work came crashing down.  i wasn't even disappointed that i didn't win.  i cried out of sheer happiness and relief.  sooo much work.  and i got to stand on stage and have my picture taken and the glory that i was one of the three for which the hard work paid off.  one of the best feelings i've ever had! :)

numba two:  huntsville half marathon.  ohh babaayy.. i loved loved loved this race.  it was the perfect weather: a leeetle bit breezy, a leeetle bit overcast, not too hot, but not too cold.  prime running weather, i tell ya.  and we ran past the prettiest landscape ever.  fields.  mountains.  horses running in the wind.  uhh.. does it get better than that?  i. think. NOT.  and i ran it in the fastest time i've ever run!  {i won't say exactly how much.. because i don't want to embarrass ya'll by my mad skills.. let's just say it was super duper speedy for me and i felt awesome.}  crossing that finish line.. another of the best feelings everrr.

numba three:  when i was a sophomore, i was speedy.  aaaand skinny.  {i need those days to come back to me!}  we went to a cross country meet down in cedar city where i ran the fastest 5K i have ever {and probably ever will!} run.  it was like 21.07.  not like record breaking time, but definitely record breaking for me.  i cried.  i was so happy.  and felt so accomplished :)

{and now that we're talking about running.. did i mention i'm running the hobble creek half in august?  wooooo!!}

numba four:  this might be a dumb one.  but i think all of my journals are pretty dang great accomplishments!  i have like 10 just from 9th grade to now.  recorded in them is my liiiife.  seriously, everything.  from the hurts to the joys to the lows and the highs.... and everything in between, every crazy adventure and whisper of the spirit, every school dance and star gazing night and what i am feeling about everything.  i feel accomplished for having so much written down about my life.  i sure hope my posterity enjoys reading about the dramas of my life.  i swear, you could make a movie about it all.  all the good ol' dramas of being 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, and 19!  ha!

numba five:  overcoming {and continuing to overcome!} some personal trials that i won't bother writing here, but it is hugeee for me.  being able to use the Atonement in my life to become better each day is such an amazing blessing and i am so thankful to have a loving Savior that would die for me, and then be completely 100% willing to stick by me every step of the way.  hard days come, yeah... but i know i have lots of people to lean on.  the first being Jesus Christ.  it's been a hard road {and will continue to be so!}, but this life wasn't meant to be easy!  how grateful i am for the trials that continue to make me a better person!

and by the way, new fav song.  i mean, it's an old fav, but i sorta forgot about it, and rediscovered it recently.  and i really really really enjoy it.  a lot.  faster by matt nathanson.  you should probably listen to it.. ehh, like 50 times.  because it's super good.



i love my friends :)

yesterday, i got a letter from a missionary (who is coming home in just 73 days... but who's counting?) and what did i do?  text my friends, of course! these are their responses:

melina:  "SHUT UP!!! you'll have to tell me what it says!!!!" then, later, when i didn't respond right away: "DUDEEE!!! What did the letter say??? You never texted me!!!"

haley:  "Oh my gosh yayyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D  CALL ME TONIGHT PLEEEASSSSEEEEE!!!" and then when i didn't respond right away:  "I'M SO EXCITED YOU HAVE A LETTER!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!! :DDDDDD"

morgan:  "I'M SOOOO HAPPY!! it better be a gosh dang good letter, it's been forever! :) i'm expecting a phone call after!!"

julia:  "Oh my gosh!!!! the last letter before he comes home!!"

uh, okay... what kind of friends are more excited than you when you get a letter from a missionary?!  seriously.  i have the best friends in the world.  i love that they get excited with me!

missing you girls all sooooo much!! thanks for everything.. having my back through it all, caring about what i care about, hatin' on who i hate (hehe), and for every late night talk, drive, dance party, and junk food binge in between.  i love you guys! xoxo

15 OF 30

share 10 fond memories from your childhood.

okay, buckle up... this is gonna be loooong.

1.  dancing... yes, i've been having dance parties for my entire life!  my best friend, aubree, and i were obsessed with choreographing our own dances.  one year, we got the genius idea to choreograph a bunch and perform them for our neighbors.  we sent out invitations, planned costumes, and taught whitney the dances so she could perform with us.  we made cake and lemonade to serve our guests after the performance and set up chairs for the adults and laid out blankets for the kids.  it was a big hit! (or at least, we thought so!)  the next summer, we decided to make it even bigger.  i remember we planned "greeting outfits":  dressy skirts and shirts to greet the neighbors as they came into the backyard.  we made a dressing room around the corner of our house so that we could change costumes in between dances.  the dressing room consisted of the garbage can, the bike rack, and the sandbox turned on its side, all surrounding a teeny area where we got dressed.  haha!  we must have choreographed about 10 different dances that year.  i'm not sure how the neighbors felt about watching us do ridiculous dances for about an hour.  (and by the way, i could NOT dance.  who am i kidding... i still can't dance.)  whit and i would always make up dances, too.  any and every CD we owned had its own choreography. i remember dancing our little hearts out ALL THE TIME.  parker, the left out younger boy, would always want to do them with us.  we obliged a lot of the time.  looking back, we probably shouldn't have let park dance with us... we should have made him play trucks or dinosaurs or airplanes or somethin'.  but oh man, those days were so fun.

2.  Wilcox Family Reunion.  every year, we have a family reunion with my dad's side of the family that is always soooo much fun!  we went to Zions two years in a row to this sa-weet campsite.  it had little cabins to stay in, a huge lodge in the middle, and paved roads within the campsite.  one of my favorite parts of the whole experience was the drive down there.  i remember one year, we met in provo in the wal mart parking lot where we had krispy kreme donuts (which were SUCH a treat) and then swapped cars.  i am the oldest grandchild on this side of the family and after me, there was a grandchild born every year.  all of the older cousins are pretty close, so it was always so much fun to get in the car with mikell and lauren and ben and whit and park and sing songs, watch movies, and play games on the way down to Zions.  in the campsite, we'd ride our bikes around with no parent supervision (which felt pretty dang cool).  i remember the lodge at this campsite did fun things like movie nights and BBQs.  there was an awesome pool that we practically lived at.  and hiking in the beautiful scenery at Zions was always so much fun!  we'd bring a picnic lunch and be gone the entire day, exploring the red rocks.  i loved going to Zions!  another family reunion i loved was Moab.  we stayed at another sweet campsite, not quite as nice as the other one, but still so fun.  i remember when we pulled up to the campsite, my brother parker said, "please say this isn't where we're staying."  everyone thought that was hilarious.  we still tease him about it.  :)  this campsite had a huge rock at one end.  all the older cousins would ride our bikes down there.  we named it our "clubhouse" and would be down there all the time while the adults were talking or cooking.  i remember how cool it felt to say "clubhouse meeting!" and hop on our bikes and hurry down the the big rock.  i remember playing a game with a ball of yarn.  we had to say something we loved about someone in our family and then throw the ball of yarn to them.  pretty soon, we had this huge web of yarn interconnecting every member of our family.  i remember thinking how much i loved everyone and how lucky i felt to be a part of such a wonderful family.  another awesome {okay, they're all awesome, but i can't write about all of them} family reunion was when everyone came up to Heber!   we have a cabin up in Timber Lakes that's super fun.  we have four-wheelers, snowmobiles, a canoe, and tons of other fun "toys" that we play with.  this particular year, my aunt and uncle planned The Amazing Race for our family to do in Heber.  ohmygosh.  SO FUN.  we split up into 3 teams, and each team had a video camera.  we were each given a list of things we had to film.  making a people pyramid at the football field, helping someone across the street, spelling our name with french fries from mcdonalds, 10 cats and dogs, and other crazy things.  it was soooooo much fun. when we got back up to the cabin, we watched all of them.  they were hilarious!  we also had crazy competitions.  i remember having to get gummi worms (or something) out of a big bowl of whipped cream with our mouths.  those are such fun memories.

3.  building forts!  the. best. thing. EVER.  before our basement was finished, we were still pretty little, and couldn't quite figure out how to get the blankets over our heads... so we just pushed tables, our big dollhouse, dressers, and whatever else we could find in a big circle to make our "fort."  and our favorite thing to do in these forts was sleep in them.  why was it always so fun to NOT sleep in your own bed when you were little?  we have a home video of us sleeping in one of our awesome forts.  we had an area for the kitchen (our play kitchen and a teeny little table covered with extra fabric from mom's stash), a living room (a little chair covered with more fabric), wallpaper (flowered fabric covering our giant dollhouse, complete with a clock cut out of paper), and bedrooms.  when we got a little older and we finished our basement, we'd get every blanket that we owned and make the most fabulous forts.  we'd close the blankets in the tops of closet doors so it would be really tall, and turn the couches over and push the armchairs together.  we had amazing adventures in those forts.  i love remembering our pretend play.  we'd hide in the fort when mom asked us to do our chores because we thought the "door" was too small for her to get in.  it was always sad when mom and dad told us they'd had enough of our fort and we had to clean it up.

4.  our trampoline.  summer was always the best season because it meant no school, warm weather, popsicles, bike rides, and best of all -- setting up the tramp!  the adventures that it offered were endless.  i loved when we did "family jumps."  it'd be later at night, when dad got home from work, and we kids would BEG for a family jump.  all 6 of us would go outside on the trampoline and take turns getting bounced hiiiiigh in the air by my dad.  it was always so much fun!  putting the sprinkler under the trampoline was a favorite pasttime, too.  on a hot summer day, putting the sprinkler under the tramp was sometimes more fun than going to a pool!  also on hot days, we'd lay under the shade of the tramp eating popsicles and telling stories and sharing secrets.  but probably my favorite thing was sleeping out on the tramp at night.  we'd gather our sleeping bags and pillows and spread them out on the tramp.  we'd spend forever looking up at the stars and talking.  after my siblings fell asleep, i'd usually still be awake and have my own time to think, looking up at the sky.  in the morning, we'd either be awakened by the sprinklers (and have to run, shrieking, with our pillows and blankets to the deck, where we'd most likely just fall asleep again), or the birds chirping.  those days of fun on the trampoline are some of my favorites.

5.  playing TUFF.  this could be my favorite memory.  i don't know who coined the phrase, "play Tuff", but it sure stuck and we loooooooved playing Tuff with dad.  now i'm sure you're wondering, what the heck is Tuff?  HA.  if only you knew how much fun it was!  my dad would usually start it off by tackling us and tickling us, growling and making scary faces and trying to trap us in his arms.  then there would usually be a "magic button."  the hostage would yell to the other kids to find the magic button!  which was usually dad's big toe, or his nose, or his belly button, or his ear... you get the idea.  when the magic button was pushed, dad would freeze and let go of you -- but ONLY so long as you held down the magic button!  the second you let go, he'd go right back to growling and wrestling and capturing.  and then sometimes, dad would run away and hide without warning.  you'd be trying to get away, and all of a sudden, he'd hop up and run down the hall or down the stairs and hide.  the scary thing was, you couldn't go looking for him by yourself, or you'd be held hostage!  i remember tiptoe-ing down the hall, whitney and parker and i all hugging each other, afraid to find dad around the corner, because once you found him, it was right back to wrestling and growling and shrieking with delight.  a lot of the time, we ended up having to cut our game of tuff short because somebody got hurt haha.  i sure love my dad.  i LOVE remembering these memories with him.  i remember how sad it was when dad wouldn't play Tuff with us anymore because we were "too big."  i hope he plays Tuff with my kids.  :)

6.  New Year's Eve.  i always LOVED new year's eve as a kid because i got to stay up super late!  one year, we partied it up with the belchers and their family.  i remember the entire day, we went tubing down some super steep hill.  i don't even remember where we were, but i remember how much fun it was.  i remember making a train of tubes and going down, sliding on top of each other and losing people on the way down the hill.  it was sooo much fun.  then i remember going to our house to play games.  the adults stayed upstairs, and the kids went downstairs to watch freaky friday.  it was the first time i'd ever seen it and i still love that movie to death.  i remember dad set up a projector so we had a big screen on the wall of the basement.  we crashed with bean bags, pillows, and blankets.  when the movie ended, mom tricked the boys into thinking it was midnight already.  it was so awesome to be one of the "big kids" and get to stay up while the boys went to bed.  then we all sat in the living room and played games.  this was the year that whitney chipped her tooth.  a plate that was hanging on the wall fell, bounced off whit's lap, and hit her in the mouth HARD.  she chipped her tooth and we had to take her to the dentist that night.  {good thing for good friends/dentists!}  what a memorable new year's eve.  i also loved going up to idaho for new year's eve, to my grandparents' house.  our whole family would be there, and there would be tons of good food and sooo much craziness going on!  i love that family to death.  little kids are running everywhere, adults are laughing and talking and playing games.. there is love and laughter and good times to be had by all.  one year, i remember after midnight we played games until about 3:30 am -- the latest i'd ever stayed up.  i thought it was so fun to stay up so late!

7.  horsey rides!  man, these were the bomb.  i remember we used to fight for who got to sit on dad's neck {i'm sure he loved that haha.}  whitney, parker AND i {all three kids?!  we thought dad was superman for being able to take all of us} would ride on dad's back all around the house until he finally got too tired, and either bucked us onto the couch or just collapsed, sending us into fits of giggles and demands for more!

8.  the canal.  i love heber because of its small-town feeling, and the canal is a big part of that!  floating down the canal in the summer was always soo fun, but soooo cold!  i remember we'd put our swimsuits on, and then put a t-shirt and shorts over our swimsuits because the water was so dang cold.  we also went to king's and bought tubes that had a covering in the middle so our butt didn't have to get wet.  we'd have mom drive us clear up to the top of valley hills, all holding our tubes out the window because there wasn't room for them all in the car.  she'd drop us off, we'd walk down the sagebrush covered hill, and hop in!  there was a spot in the canal that someone had pushed a bunch of rocks into, and we called that "the rapids".  the water moved a little bit faster there, and it went down a teeny hill, so the cement on the bottom there was super smooth from the water going over it so much.  we'd go down it once with our tubes, get out, walk back up, and go down it again and again without the tubes, just sliding down the cement on our feet or shorts!  {i'm sure we ruined multiple pairs of shorts this way... oops.}  one year on the fourth of july, my entire waddoups family came up and for some reason, we decided to go float the canal.  ALL OF US.  my grandparents included!  {yes, i'm serious!} what a memorable day!

9.  cousin camp!  i mentioned this earlier, but on my dad's side of the family, i'm the oldest grandchild.  a year after i was born, my cousin ben was born, and so on down the line -- a cousin born every year.  it was really fun to grow up with cousins like that.  my mom started cousin camp every summer, where all {or most} of the cousins would come to spend the night and do fun things!  one year my mom took us all on the heber creeper and we made macaroni and cheese with a hot dog on top cut into an octopus shape.  another cousin camp i remember was in centerville.  we played paint tag and slept in a tent outside in their backyard.  goooood memories :)

10.  singing at bedtime.  i remember so many times when dad would come tuck us into bed, turn the lights off, and sit on the floor and sing primary songs to help us fall asleep.  i felt so loved and protected and special.  some of his favorites were "i am a child of god," "i'm trying to be like jesus," and "i love to see the temple."  mom also sang songs to us.  i remember when she sang "walk tall, you're a daughter of god."  i LOVE this song.  it brought the Spirit to me as I was trying to fall asleep.  i'm so grateful for my parents and the example they are to me. 

childhood was soooooooo great!!  i love remembering these good times in my life.


14 OF 30

describe 5 strengths you have.

i always find it a bit awkward to talk about your strengths.  check me out. i think i'm reeeally good at ___.  so, with that said, i don't mean to brag on myself at all.  AT ALL. 

1.  piano.  i love love LOVE the piano.  and i feel like i'm pretty good at it.  i know i'm not pro.  there are sooo many people better than i am.  i'll never be a concert pianist.  i'll never be able to play something the first time perfectly. but  i love to sit down and just sight read something and have it sound beautiful.  it took me a while to get to the point where i actually loved it, but i do and it is something that i will use my entire life.

2.  i feel like i have a pretty good grasp on who i am.  i'm not going to change who i am according to circumstance.  sure, i've changed the past year.  but it's been a growing change.  i'm becoming who i am supposed to become.  i make mistakes like everyone, but i know who i am and where i'm headed. 

3.  confidence.  and this is different than being cocky or stuck up.  this is simply that i am not afraid to show who i am.  i have confidence in myself and my abilities.  i am confident in my testimony of Jesus Christ and this one true Church.  i am confident in my relationships with my family and friends.  i am confident of where i am going in life. 

4.  compassion.  i don't want to say i'm always perfectly compassionate, but compassion is something that has always come relatively easily for me.  i always feel so badly for others when they go through something hard.  i shed tears often for the pain of those i love. 

5.  grammar.  it has always come sooooooo easily for me!  i know the difference between "you're" and "your" and "there, their, and they're."  i know when to use "its" and when to use "it's."  it's just something that i've always enjoyed and i think i'm good at it :)

that was as awkward as i thought it would be.  ah well, whatever.  please know that i only did this post because it was part of that 30 thing.



i know because i've snapped.  you know what happens.  when mrs. grumpity-grump comes to life.  suddenly my cheerful, hello welcome to red ledges, how may i help you personality has transformed into a fire breathing dragon. don't look at me wrong.  i might bite your head off.  don't ask me to do anything.  i'll pitch a fit.  don't bother me.  i might scream at you.

and then when mrs. grumps start to edge offstage, waiting to make her next surprise debut, the tears start.  mr. overwhelmingly-lonely-and-sad-and-not-sure-where-i-fit-in-right-now.. yeah, he visits me next.  man, i hate him.  he seems to be visiting a lot this week.  go away, sir.  and don't come back another day.  in fact, how does never sound?

i know that when this happens, i need some therapy in the form of my scriptures and my journal.  it's time to shove grumps and loneliness away.  it's time to go to sleeeeep. {sleep. what a lovely thing these days. in college, i gladly gave up sleep for social life and not-so-gladly for studying. now i wouldn't give up my precious sleep time for aaaanything. i'm sure that'll change when i move back down to provo.}

as much as i'm attached to mrs. grumpy and mr. sad and lonely -- or at least, they're attached to me -- i need to get rid of these two in my life and make better friends with mrs. i-love-life-all-the-time-no-matter-what and mr. keep-your-chin-up.  because that's who i am!

i'm off to bed.  hopefully mrs. lovin life and mr. optimistic will visit me in the morning.

13 OF 30

describe 5 weaknesses you have.

1.  procrastination.  i'm a procrastinator.  like, a really, reaalllyyy big procrastinator.  i always think, "oh, i have more time!"  more time to do homework, more time to study for tests, more time to sleep, more time to get ready, more time to cook, more time to read the scriptures, more time to do my visiting teaching, more time to do this and that.  it's a really bad quality and i need to get over it.

2.  judgmental.  it seems like there's a very thin line between being judgmental and knowing right from wrong.  i don't think i understood the difference when i was growing up.  if i was taught that smoking or having premarital sex or having a tattoo was bad, then the person automatically was, too.  luckily, i have gotten past this aspect of judging others.  i now need to focus on loving everyone, and not putting myself above others.  i love what our stake president said at girls' camp one year:  "EVERYONE you meet is better at something than you are."  so true!  i need to work on this.

3.  jealousy.  this is seriously a problem!  i wish it wasn't.  i get so jealous of people that have something that i want.  whether it be a boy, a nice car, a big house, good grades, a large wardrobe, talents i don't have... the list goes on.  i let the little jealousy fester and pretty soon, it's full-blown envy.  NOT GOOD.  at all. 

4.  acting without thinking.  i have done this since i was little and it bugs me that i can't get over it.  one of my earliest memories of this is in elementary school.  i had a good relationship with a teacher, and we teased each other back and forth.  one day he called on me and i, not knowing the answer, said, "don't call on me right now, dummy!"  i meant it jokingly, but i realized too late that it was NOT okay to call your teacher a dummy.  the consequence was stares and whispers from my classmates and a reprimand from this teacher.  super duper embarrassing.  for years, i have been saying and doing things that, afterward, i am kicking myself for.  doing things without thinking about the consequence is something i know i really need to work on.

5.  sugar.  i'm not kidding, i have a weakness for sugar.  chocolate especially.  that's not okay.. in fact, it's pretty dang horrible that i cave every time someone whips out dessert.  that's why this summer is skinny summer.  stay strong shay!

as much as i hate recognizing and writing about my weaknesses... maybe this is what i need, a kick in the butt to try and overcome them!


12 OF 30

describe a typical day in your current life.

haha... so far my life is pretty boring this summer.  a typical day?

7:45 am -- wake up.  shower, get ready for work... which means actually getting ready for the day.  do my hair, put some jewelry on, wear some professional clothes.  julia and melina would be so proud of me! ;)

8:55 am -- leave for work with the lunch that mom packed and a breakfast on the go (usually oatmeal and fruit).

9:00 - 5:00 -- work at red ledges!  i thought it was going to be a drag, but it's turned out to be SO much fun!  i really like what i do and i reaaally like who i work with.  all 30+ aged men, but all super nice and really fun.  i answer phones, put together packets, take the mercedes down to the car wash, put together emails, organize a lot of things, etc.

5:00 pm -- walk home.  in high school you were labeled a loser if you didn't have a car.  now, i really enjoy the time to myself.  it gives me a whole mile to just think.  and the weather is beautiful!  i've enjoyed walking home from work every day.  OR go straight to work at The Store until 10:00 pm.

5:30 pm -- get home, tell mom about my day.  usually it's full of "I love my job!" moments.

6:00 pm -- this time of day varies. a lot.  but i'll do one of the following:  go on a run, do some P-90X, READ (i've missed reading soooo much!!), talk to my sister about her day, play with my brothers, help make dinner, etc.

6:30ish pm -- eat dinner.  i have definitely missed good ol' mom's cooking and eating as a whole family!

7:00 pm -- help do the dishes (usually).

7:30 - 10:30 pm -- ah, i don't know.  this time is mostly spent either a) on the computer, blogging or on Skype talking to my friends, or b) reading, or c) just spending some good time with my family.

10:30 pm -- scriptures and journal!

around 11:00 - 11:30 (or sometimes 12:00) -- hit the hay.

get up, repeat.  but varied.  sometimes i'll go to provo, or hang out with my friends, or have random adventures...  it all depends!  :)



summer... ahhhh.  i sure love you.  here's what you've given me so far:

summer started off right with my roommates and best friends hanging out in heber for the weekend! 

i have an AWESOME job that i absolutely love.  look at this beautiful view!  i live and work here?! 

$15 burgers from the Red Ledges clubhouse (that i didn't have to pay for!) are amaaazing! 

Google+ hangouts.. the best thing ever invented.  i miss these kids.

soooooo excited for more summer to come!! :) 


10 OF 30

describe your most embarrassing moment.

ya know?  i think i'll write about two.  i can't decide which one was more embarrassing, and perhaps someone will read this and learn from my mistakes.  the first one i can laugh about... but the second one is just mortifying. 

#1:  the summer before my senior year of high school, the varsity members of the cross country team were invited to go to HARC - High Altitude Running Camp - and spend 4 days.  i was so excited!  it turned out to be some of the best 4 days of my life.  we went running mulitple times a day, cooked yummy food, played pranks on each other, had a mud fight, and more. 

however, the one drawback to HARC was that it was freeeeezing at night.  like, can't-sleep-cause-i-can't-feel-my-toes-or-my-face-shiver-all-night-bone-chilling kind of freezing.  we bundled up in layers of sweats, blankets, and pillows and burrowed down in our sleeping bags, trying to keep warm.  one night, my tent was all in bed.  we couldn't hear the other tents talking anymore, so we assumed that everyone was asleep.  we were still gossiping (as only girls do during sleepovers) and suddenly i felt the need to pass gas.  i figured, eh what the heck, no one will know, and i'm in my sleeping bag anyway... so i let it rip.  amazingly, i was warmer!  so i decided to share with my tent:  "guys!  i just farted in my sleeping bag and it got like 10 times warmer in here!" 

snickers.  from outside the tent.

i shot up out of my sleeping bag and peered out the window of the tent.  the entire boys' team was right there outside the tent, eavesdropping on our conversation.  they were rolling on the ground laughing. eavesdropping had paid off for them!  i wanted to die.

to this day, they still tease me about that.  live and learn, i guess.  i sure won't be sharing my business anymore.

#2:  i wouldn't say that i am a clean freak now, but i sure have learned the value of having a clean room since i moved away from home.  i make my bed every day and keep my clothes picked up off the floor.  for the most part, i have a very clean room.

in high school, i wasn't so much this way.

junior prom was approaching, and i knew that spencer coleman was going to ask me.  i just didn't know when.  well, one day, i noticed my laundry basket, which was completely overflowing.  i needed to do laundry desperately, but i also had to work that day.  i thought to myself, i'll sort my laundry in here, and then put a load in when i get home from work tonight.  it seemed like the perfect plan.  my bedroom was in the basement, and no one went in there.  i shut the door and went to work, leaving piles of diry underclothing, socks, pants, shirts, camisoles, and skirts in my room, all color coordinated and ready to be put in the washer.

unbeknownst to me, spencer decided to choose THAT day to ask me to prom... and he had to go in my bedroom.  i'm sure it was shocking for him to see my dirty laundry piled all around my room.  (and when i say all around my room, i mean it.  it seriously covered the floor.)  (and by the way, while i'm at it, didn't anyone in my family think to LOOK in my room before they let a boy in there??  help me out, people.)

anyway, the next day at school, i went up and talked to spencer about how he'd asked me.  he mentioned my dirty room, and i about died.  literally.  i wanted to melt into the floor.  my dirty laundry had been all over and he'd seen it!!  he teased me about it for years.  everytime he brought it up, i wanted to kill him.  or myself.

i still don't even like thinking about this.  ugh.


9 OF 30

list 10 people that have influenced you and describe how.

since i'm limited to only 10 (i have had dozens of people that have had a big impact on my life!) i'm going to leave out my parents and my friends.  i could write pages and pages and pages on how they have influenced me, but i've recently written about my parents, and i've written a ton of stuff about my friends.

and by the way, these are not in any particular order, these are just 10 (of the many!) people that have had an influence for good in my life. 

1.   Michelle Bowman.  my piano teacher.  before i started taking lessons from michelle, the piano seemed difficult and boring.  i didn't want to practice.  i hadn't liked any of my previous teachers much and i so desperately wanted to give up playing.  it was hard and i wanted to quit.  when i started taking lessons from michelle, my perspective changed.  michelle loved the piano with all of her heart.  each time i went to her house for lessons, some of her enthusiasm and passion for the piano was transferred to me.  i felt the Spirit when i played for michelle, and she bore her testimony time and time again of how important music was to her and how it helped her strengthen her testimony.  after about a year of taking lessons from michelle, i found myself absolutely in love with the piano.  i loved going to lessons and i loved playing!  michelle became more than a piano teacher to me, she became my friend and someone i looked up to.  i will always be so thankful for the huge impact she had on my life.  

2.  Misti and Matt.  my aunt misti has always been my role model.  from the time i was little, i have looked at her as the ultimate example of who i want to be in the future.  i have been trying to walk in her footsteps from the time i could walk. she is beautiful, fun, friendly, good with kids, and has an amazing testimony.  some of my favorite childhood memories are with misti -- singing silly songs, playing fun games, doing crafts, confiding in her, sleeping over at her apartment, and laughing with her.   when she got married to uncle matt, he adopted me as his younger sister/daughter/niece and i have felt so close to both of them.  they strive to do what is right in every situation.  i have watched them go through good and bad together, always putting the Lord first and keeping a positive attitude.  as much as it pains me to see them go through something so hard, i look at them with admiration and respect and love because i know they are doing what Heavenly Father would have them do.  i hope that my relationship with my future husband is a lot like matt and misti's.  i sure do love them.

3.  Bishop Draper.  i still have trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that i won't see this good man until the next life.  he has influenced me for good in everything that he did.  each time i saw him, he greeted me with a smile and a hearty "Well how are ya!"  when he shook my hand, i thought he was going to break my arm.  every time -- and i mean EVERY time -- i went into his office, whether it was a calling being extended, or a youth interview, or tithing settlement, he always had tears well up in his eyes and tell me how good of a girl i was and how proud he was of me.  but probably my favorite thing about my bishop was the fact that he loved his wife.  he and kathy had such a special relationship, and everyone could see it.  he praised her and loved her and respected her, and she him.  they didn't have a huge house or the nicest of everything, but they didn't need it!  they had each other, they had their family, they had their friends, they had the gospel.  and that is the most important lesson i learned:  you don't need much to be completely, totally, 100% happy in life.  i'm going to miss Bishop and Sister Draper, but i know i'll see them again.  what a blessing that is.

4.  Brother Ryan Bennett.  my senior year of seminary, i had a teacher that i absolutely hated.  he was loud, rude, and detracted from the Spirit.  i thought so many of the things he said were inappropriate and crass.  so i talked to the principal and he transferred me to brother bennett's class.  there was a complete black and white difference from my first teacher.  brother bennett was extremely friendly and welcoming to me the second i stepped into his classroom.  he was funny, friendly, and strong in the gospel.  his lessons were amazing.  i loved going to seminary every day, because i knew brother bennett would be there to greet me with a smile and genuinely wanted to know how i was doing.  he talked to me about my personal life and i knew that he really cared.  i knew i could talk to brother bennett about anything.  i grew to trust and love and respect him.  even after i went to BYU, spencer and i went back to his classroom over thanksgiving break to catch up and i knew that he still cared. 

5.  Suzanne Rowser.  suzanne was my young women's president for the majority of my years as a young woman.  i love that woman.  she and i bonded right away and i always knew she was there to give me a hug, a smile, tease me about something, or talk to me about something.  one of my favorite memories with suzanne is at girl's camp.  we were on a hike, and megan greenhalgh, suzanne and i were all walking together.  we all talked about boys.  suzanne was telling us all about richard -- who she married later! :) -- and megan and i vented about the silliness of high school boys.  i remember looking up to suzanne so much because of her strength.  she was a single woman with a wonderful family, a wonderful testimony, and a wonderful personality.  i am so happy that she found richard because i know he makes her happy.  i haven't seen suzanne in forever, but i will always remember how much she cared about me.  it makes a difference when you know that someone loves you.

6.  Grandma & Grandpa Wilcox.  my dad's parents are wonderful people.  i look up to both of them so much.  my grandpa is the hardest worker i know.  when he does something, he gets it done right.  he has passed that on to my dad, who has passed that down to me.  i am so thankful for my grandpa's legacy of hard work!  i also love that my grandpa cares about my life.  he always asks me how i'm doing, and i know that he legitimately wants to know.  my grandpa paid for me to get my hair done for junior prom, and even came down to see my promenade.  he also surprised me and showed up at my work last week when i started here at red ledges!  i love that he makes an effort to be a part of my life.  i love my grandpa! :)  my grandma is such a strong woman.  she has suffered with MS for years and years, and yet i have never heard her complain -- not once.  she is always asking what she can do for me, when the question should be the other way around!  she, also, makes an effort to be a part of my life.  she always is telling me to call her and tell her what is going on in my life.  i need to be better about doing this.  she is also so gentle.  i have never heard my grandma yell.  one of my favorite things about my grandma is her laugh.  i LOVE seeing my grandma laugh -- it's so contagious and you can't help but smile when my grandma is laughing.  love you grandma! :)

7.  Whitney, Parker, and Jaren.  my siblings have each taught me something so valuable.  i could write about them forever, but i'll just share a little bit.  my whit twit helps me to be more happy.  she is the happiest person alive, always smiling and laughing and making the mood a little bit lighter.  when i need a laugh i know it's time to talk to my sister.  she and i have been best friends from day 1 and i'm sure that as life continues, our relationship will only continue to grow.  parker has grown up these past few years.  i'm gonna be honest and say that when i was little, i never really thought of parker as my "friend."  just my little brother.  he wasn't quite old enough to be considered one of the big kids, and he was a boy so he didn't like playing what whit and i wanted to play.  however, as he's grown up into a totally cute teenager, i'm happy to say that we, too, are best friends.  parker and i share a passion for the piano.  i love to sit down and listen to parker play.  he's incredible.  his joy for music has helped me develop mine.  he is a good kid and i love him to death.  jaren is a little travis junior.  he is the sweetest boy you will ever meet.  jaren has pushed me to be a better person simply by his example.  he is a better cook than i am, and this has consequently made me want to learn more recipes (just so i don't get passed up by an 11 year old).  the other night, i saw his "goals of the week" on a whiteboard in his room.  his goals included reading the scriptures daily, getting grades up to A's, keeping his room clean, and organizing his desk.  i about cried.  how cute is that?!  i thought right then and there that i need to be better about all of those things as well.  if jaren can do it, i can do it.  thanks for your good example, jare bear.

8.  Ms. T.  my AP English teacher and sterling scholar advisor.  it was the HARDEST class i have ever taken but i learned so much.  i credit Ms. T with helping me discover how passionate i feel about English.  in her class, she challenged us to analyze and critique so many things that i began to think like she did.  i was amazed with how much i could get out of a few lines of poetry or a chapter from a novel.  in sterling scholar, she was very picky about how my portfolio looked.  i must have redone it at least 15 times before she was satisfied, but i knew that she was trying to help me reach my potential.  by challenging me more than anyone ever had, she helped me grow in a way that i didn't know i could grow.  i am so thankful to her for pushing me so hard.  it was tough, but i am a better person because of it!

9.  Brad & Kerry Belcher.  brad and kerry are like my second parents and two of my favorite people on earth.   they have been the greatest friends to our family and do things for us all the time.  i love playing games with the belchers -- they're big gamers, which i think is so fun!  i honestly feel like they are just an extension of our family.  they've joined us for many a family home evening, new year's eve, backyard barbecue, sunday dinner, and more.  i love that they'll jump right into our spiritual discussions and share their testimonies with us.  they each are such great examples to me.  when my dad was the bishop and we were all little kids, my mom would stay after church for choir practice.  we would walk straight over to the belcher's house and hang out after church, playing hide-and-seek in the crawl space under their house (which we dubbed "the cabin"), playing wii, or jumping on their trampoline.  when my mom would come home from church to take us home, we'd all run downstairs to "the cabin" and refuse to come out.  half the time, our plan worked, and kerry invited us to stay for dinner.  the other half of the time, my mom threatened to make us walk home if we didn't come out.  sometimes we had to walk.  to this day, i love the belchers with all my heart.

10.  Grandma & Grandpa Waddoups.  my mom's parents are wonderful examples to me (just like my dad's are!)  i look up to my grandpa a lot.  he is pretty quiet for the most part, but when he does say something, he says something good.  he has a very strong testimony of the gospel, and one of the things i love about him is that whenever we get together as a family, he leads us in some type of spiritual-something: devotional, scripture study, family prayer, etc.  i know that he loves his family and desires for us to be together forever.  love you, grandpa!  my grandma is the sweetest lady you'll ever meet.  she is always so thoughtful!  she loves garage sales and always finds fun treasures that she passes along to her grandkids.  i love going to grandma's house and having her say, "look what i found for you!"  she is so sweet.  she is also an amaaaazing cook.  if she lived any closer, i'm sure i would be a lot heavier than i am because all i'd want to do is eat her delicious food.  sadly, i did not inherit that (hehe) but i hope to improve in this area and be more like my grandma.  she is also extremely compassionate and would cry along with me in any situation.  i find this so endearing.  honestly, i think my grandma waddoups could vy for the title of "nicest person on the planet."  i love my grandma!

sorry, that post was a novel... but i have so many good people out there in my life!  i have tons more, but i'm sure you don't want to be reading my blog for a year.  ;)


8 OF 30

what are five passions you have?

first of all, i need to start this off by saying that i am pretty dang passionate.  passion is such an interesting feeling.. you almost can't describe it.  i just feel so much about all of these things.  honestly, i can hardly even put it into words (which seems silly).  just know that as i'm writing about my passions, i feel like i want to jump out of my chair, shake you, and make you feel how i feel.

1.  writing/reading/words.  ah, the power of words!  it's so amazing that you can feel so much just from one or two words on a page.  i love getting wrapped up in a good book, or composing a poem that gives me the chills.  i could spend eons of time simply writing and reading.  (i think this is why i'm addicted to blogging - i absolutely love writing my thoughts down for others to read... well, others and myself!)

2.  running.  i love to run!  and i'm sure you already know that about me, but seriously people, if you haven't experienced the runner's high... you neeeed to.  you wouldn't think that pounding down the road at 6 am, freezing but sweating to death at the same time, rounding the corner at 5.6 miles, could be fun.  it is.  i swear.  it's the best feeling in the world.

3.  my family.  not only my wonderful parents and incredible siblings (who you've heard so much about), but also my extended family.  aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, great-grandparents, and the like.  i also would consider some of my closest friends my family.  i love these people with my whole heart and have been immensely blessed to be part of such a wonderful, close-knit, friendly, fun-loving, goofy, spiritual, loving family.

4.  music.  the power of music is equal to the power of words, in my opinion.  music can just make you feel so many different things.  joy.  happiness.  anger.  frustration.  anxiety.  it's amazing and beautiful.

5.  my faith.  the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has blessed my life more than i could even say.  i feel passionately about my knowledge of its truthfulness.  i am so thankful to have been born in the covenant and be able to stand as a witness of Jesus Christ.

7 OF 30

what is your dream job and why?

i want to be a mom. 

i want to stay at home with my children and watch them grow up.  i want to be there to kiss their toes, tickle them, wipe away their tears, settle their arguments, tuck them in bed, teach them right from wrong, laugh with them, and council them. 

so many people think that this job is not really a job.  but i beg to differ.  how many people now seated behind a desk could stay at home, battling runny noses and tantrums and toys and barney and naps all day? 

not many. 

in the family: a proclamation to the world, it says that "mothers are primarily responsible for the nuture of their children."  what better dream job is there than to nuture your children?  teach them the correct principles of the gospel?  be there when they need you?  i don't see that there is a better job. 

obviously, there are many circumstances where the mother has to work to help provide for her family.  i understand this and support it.  i hope and pray that my circumstances will allow me to stay home with my children, but they might not.  whatever happens in my future, i know that if i make each decision prayerfully and carefully, the Lord will take care of me.  stay-at-home mom or not, i want to be the best mother i can be to my future children.


6 OF 30

what is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

well... let's be honest here.  i'm only 19.  i haven't really had much life experience yet.  but i figure i haven't written about how hard it was for me to move away from home.  i'm not sure if it was the hardest thing i've ever been through, but it was definitely hard.

i looooooooove where i live.  heber valley is a beautiful, safe, wonderful place with so many memories and people i love.  i was excited to go to BYU, but at the same time, i was scared out of my mind.  completely terrified.  i didn't want to leave my little valley!

august 24, 2011 -- moving day.  i was in tears all day long.  my dad gave me a blessing, and we loaded up the car.  about 1:00 we made the trek down to provo.  from 1:00 to 6:00 we were running errands.  grocery shopping, getting my key, getting my ID card, getting me a new phone, etc.  we unloaded everything at my apartment, but no one was there yet.  i was so nervous to meet my roommates.  what if they were weird?  or worse, what if they were brats?  i felt like i was taking a huge chance, going to school and rooming with people i didn't know. 

at 6:00 when my parents and sister left, there was still no one at my apartment.  there was a barbecue going on in the center of wyview, so i walked over there by myself, feeling out of place and very very alone.  (remember my fears?  i don't like being alone.)  i found berg, and hung out with her and her roommates for awhile.  i remember really liking them and hoping that mine would be nice like hers.  then i texted my roommate dana.  we found each other and introduced ourselves.  then i met morgan, melina, and haley.  they seemed nice enough.

that night, as i read my scriptures and got into bed, i cried again.  i didn't like my small room.  i didn't like that someone i didn't know was sleeping above me.  i didn't like that i wasn't at home.  i didn't like my cramped apartment.  i felt more alone than i have ever felt in my life.

over the next few days, as i went and bought books and went to new student orientation, i felt equally lonely.  my feeling was that no one knew where i was, and worse, no one cared.  tears came as easily as breathing did those first few days.  living with other girls was kind of awkward.  finding my way around campus was confusing.  i was the typical freshman with a map in front of my face and my backpack loaded up with textbooks.  school was hard.  life was hard.  i missed my family and i missed my friends. 

however hard and uncomfortable and challenging the first 2 weeks were, i quickly became accustomed to life as a college student.  and what i found was that i absolutely LOVED it.  my roommates became my best friends.  i grew to adore my apartment and my tiny room.  life couldn't have been any better. 

this experience was a lesson to me that we are given hard things in our lives to make us grow.  and no matter how much i hate the experience at the moment, i am able to look back with wiser hindsight and say that i am so grateful for these trials that have shaped the woman i am becoming.

5 OF 30

what are 5 things that make you the most happy right now?

1.  my family.  moving home for the summer has been such an awesome blessing!  i didn't want to at first, but i am so glad i'm here.  my parents support and encourage me in what i'm doing.  i am strengthening my relationship with my sister and brothers. i feel so blessed to have the family that i do.  and i'm so thankful for the knowledge that my family can be forever!

2.  sunshine.  this year has been so sunny and it's made me so happy!  nothing can lift my spirits like the sun can.

3.  my friends.  i have been blessed my whole life with great friends.  now at this point in my life i have friends all over -- from children to missionaries to high school friends to college friends to adults.  every one of my friends has taught me something that i needed to learn.  i love you guys :)   (you know who you are!)

4.  good music.  i LOVE music!  some of my favorites are 80's hits (of course), jon schmidt, some select few modern songs, piano music, and on.  ahhh music is sooo wonderful.  imagine a life without music.. it would be awful.

5.  the gospel of Jesus Christ.  i love my faith.  i know it to be true with all of my heart.  and i also know that it is the one thing in the world that can really bring us true happiness.  i am so thankful for that! :)

4 OF 30

list 10 things you would tell your 16-year-old self if you could.

1.  get better grades.  they really do matter!  when senioritis kicks in senior year, fight through it and try to get straight A's.  it'll make life so much easier!

2.  don't fight with your parents so much.  listen to them -- they KNOW what they're talking about! 

3.  in just a year, you'll be loving the piano with all of your heart.  right now, keep on practicing.  practice more!  the piano is such a wonderful thing.  don't give your mom so much grief for wanting you to improve your talents.

4.  forgive more quickly.

5.  get a little more serious about cross country.  your senior year, you're not going to make state if you don't give it your all NOW.

6.  spend some more time at home.  your friends are wonderful, but your family is too and they want you to be home.  don't get so frustrated with your younger siblings.  they look up to you. 

7.  practice being patient.  this is a skill you'll need later in life.  patience with your friends, your parents, your sister when she wears your clothes or uses your makeup, your brothers when they are buggin' you, patience patience PATIENCE.

8.  don't spend your money like it's burning a hole in your pocket.  you don't realize how much everything costs.  you're gonna neeeeeeed money down the road.

9.  i know you love the advice "follow your heart" but you are a very, very passionate person.  you should probably follow your head a little bit more than your heart. 

10.  get a little more serious about the scriptures.  they truly are lifesavers.  they'll help you through some of the toughest times ahead.  make them a habit!



today was a hard day.

my sweet bishop and his wife passed away today in a car accident in provo canyon.  we went to a testimony meeting/memorial tonight at the church and i just bawled.  the questions kept running through my head:

why did this have to happen?  why did they have to die?  why? why? why?

i sat there with tears running down my cheeks and my head full of so many wonderful memories with the two of these wonderful people.  sister draper as a young women leader.  seeing her every single day at the library at the high school.  her huge smile.  her gentle voice.  her hugs.  her genuine concern for me.  bishop draper being made the bishop.  learning to love him.  shaking his hand and having my arm feel like it was going to be ripped off.  listening to his laugh.  soaking him with water guns (and getting way more soaked myself).  going into his office.  having the overwhelming feeling that he loves me and wants the best for me.  seeing his tears as he bore his testimony.

finally it dawned on me.  these two have a much more important mission.  and it isn't here on earth -- but in the spirit world, where they can be happy and rest from all their cares and sorrows.

i'm happy that they were able to go together.  i'll miss them and the example they set for me in my life, but i'm truly grateful for the knowledge i have that they live.

our Father in Heaven has a plan for us.  He knows what is best.  it was their time to go.

Bishop and Sister Draper, i love you.  <3


3 OF 30

describe your relationship with your parents.

hmm.. where to even start? 

my mom is my best friend, my confidante, my own personal chef, my laundress, my running partner, my nutritionist, my teacher, my parent.  she is an amazing person.  it seems like our relationship really started to grow when we started running together.  she showed (and continues to show!) the best example of how to keep your body healthy.  i love talking to my mom, whether it be across the bar in the kitchen, or lounging on her bed, or on the phone, or via text.  she always encourages me and loves me no matter what i've done.  i'll venture to say that we're both pretty stubborn, and the arguments we get into are stupid and petty. one of my favorite things about her lately is her compassion.  with all the tears and heartaches and struggles i've had, she is right there with me, crying with me or talking me through a problem.  i love that about her.  i was always one of those girls that said, "i'm so different than my mom" but as i grow, i see more and more of my mother in myself.  and i love it.  :)

my dad is my hero, my exemplar, my protector, my financial advisor, my school counselor, my P-90X partner, my encourager.  i loved going away to school and knowing that my dad was always a phone call away to help me with any problem i needed solved, whether it be school, or money, or friends, or roommates, or boys, or work, or whatever.  he's a pretty big goofball, and one of my favorite things about my dad is that we can tease each other.  i love making my dad laugh. :)  he is so thoughtful, always asking how i'm doing or what went on in my day.  his spirituality is amazing.  he leads our family in righteousness and i am so grateful for the example he has set for me and my siblings to follow.  someday i hope to marry someone a lot like my papa!

some people are closer to one parent than the other, but not me.  i've been fortunate enough to have two amazing people there to support, love, teach, and encourage me.  i love my parents!


2 OF 30

describe 5 legitamate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

uhh... yikes?

1.  pain.  i know, i know, what a silly, stupid thing to be afraid of.  and I'm not talking just like dying, burning in a fire, torturous kind of pain.  i'm talking like skinned knees and stubbed toes and slivers and blisters and ingrown toenails and broken bones and rug burn and cuts and bruises.  i HATE being in pain.  the thought of it terrifies me.  i can think of many times when i was younger, having my dad literally have to sit on me to get a sliver out of my foot.  i'd be screaming my head off like he was killing me.  (and after all these years, I wonder what our neighbors thought...)  naturally, because of this fear, I am NOT a daredevil.  at all.

2.  bees.  those stupid little fuzzy black and yellow buzzing creatures make me flip out.  i do not want to be stung by a bee.  i was once, when i was really little, and i hated it.  i guess it has to go along with me not liking pain.  a bee sting?  ouch.  not my thing.

3.  giving blood.  i think i was blessed so that i can't give blood.  we lived in england during the mad cow disease breakout (or whatever it was) so they'd prefer if I didn't.  which is a-ok with me!  it may be selfish.  i wholeheartedly admire those who will do it out of the kindness and goodness of their hearts.  i just can't do it.

(those are pathetic.  they are all pain related.  i'm such a baby.)

4.  being alone.  this is both the fear of being alone for too long, and also of being alone for my whole life.  i want to love and be loved.  i can't imagine a sadder life than living on your own, no connections to anyone, no friends.  i think i would rather die.

5.  having my siblings (or anyone i love, for that matter) fall away from the Church.  this gospel is such a beautiful, wonderful thing.  i have seen too many good people fall away and too many broken hearts.  it would be the hardest thing for me to handle, watching someone i love so much deny the happiness that i know they could have.  i know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that Heavenly Father lives and loves me.  i want everyone to know that!


i love reading kara and michelle's blog posts on this list of 30 things to write about yourself.  it helps me learn so much about both of them!  then when i saw michelle last night, and she told me to do it myself, i thought why not?!

(okay, except i'm skipping the first one, because i just recently did a post with random facts about me, and you guys know so much about me anyway.)

1.      List 30 random facts about yourself.
2.      Describe 5 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3.      Describe your relationship with your parents.
4.      List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5.      What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6.      What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7.      What is your dream job, and why?
8.      What are 5 passions you have?
9.      List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10.  Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11.  Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12.  Describe a typical day in your current life.
13.  Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14.  Describe 5 strengths you have.
15.  Share 10 fond memories from your childhood.
16.  What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17.  What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18.  What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19.  If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20.  Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21.  If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it?
22.  Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23.  List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24.  Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25.  If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26.  What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27.  What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28.  What is your love language?
29.  What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30.  List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.