this week has been an interesting one.  to say the least.

these things called hormones that make us moody. . . yeah, they're not so great.  this week i've been crying, angry, upset, emotional, depressed, happy, excited, positive, and negative.  all of those different emotions since tuesday.  i think we'd all agree, some days are harder than others.

so i've been doing a lot of writing in my journal, a lot of time on my knees, and a lot of time turning the pages of my scriptures.  it's been a self-evaluating week for me.

here's my thing:  i want to be well-liked.  i know, i know, DUH.  everyone does!  but really.  i want to be able to be myself and have people like who i am.  do they like who i am?  i want to be known as really happy, really nice, and really easy to be around.  is that how people view me?  i really hope so.  i want to be a better friend.  i want to be a better student.  i want to be a better version of myself.

on wednesday i was feeling really down about myself.  i was home alone, working and studying, and feeling like a terrible person.  (satan pulling me down. what a jerk.)  i sat there, feeling bad about myself, when i had the thought:  hello!  stop thinking about yourself!  think about somebody else!

right then and there, i pulled out my cards.  i wrote a card to my grandma.  i wrote a letter to a missionary. i wrote cards to both of the girls i visit teach.  then i delivered all of these things.

i felt a little bit better.

moral of the story?  we're all going to have some times when we feel bad.  that's just part of being human. we make mistakes, we dwell on them.  but we have to be able to find a way to feel better about ourselves.  on wednesday, my way to feel better was to think about someone else.  it worked for me.

i'm still not feeling 100% about myself.  but hey, i guess that's okay.  it was a hard week.

next week will be better.

1 comment:

Lindsey said...

Oh Shaylee I like you :)