10:00 AM - general conference.  i, unfortunately, was not snuggled up at home in my pajamas watching the tv.  i was at work.  luckily for me, since i work at byu, someone turned on the tv in my office.  i sat there, listened to the opening hymn, and felt grateful for being a part of this gospel.

10:05 AM - president monson came on.  {i love that man.}  he made the most astonishing, stunning, amazing, incredible announcement i have ever witnessed.  young men can now serve missions at age 18!  how wonderful for them!  my brothers can now go right out of high school.  i was absolutely thrilled at that.  and then... he made another completely stunning announcement.  young women can now serve at age 19...

immediately, i started bawling.

there i sat, tears streaming down my face, sitting in an office on the 4th floor of the law school.  it felt like my world had come to a shuddering halt.  i can now serve a mission.  i can now serve a mission.  i can now serve a mission.  my brain was on repeat.  the tears kept coming.  i felt the spirit more strongly than i ever have in my entire life.

12:00 PM - i walked home from work.  the second i got out of the law building, i totally lost it.  i had tried to keep my emotions in check while at work, but this was just too much.  i called my parents, totally overwhelmed.  "i could serve a mission!"  i'm sure people walking around me thought i was crazy, but right then, my world consisted of myself, a mission, God, the Holy Ghost, the tears streaming down my face, and my parents on the other end of the phone.

i'm not sure what i felt -- fear?  yes, definitely.  serving a mission scares me.  anxiety?  yes, definitely.  i'm not sure if i can be an adequate missionary for the Lord.  excitement?  possibly.  although it could have been overshadowed by fear, for sure.  a sense of right?  not yet.

12:30 PM - i got back to my apartment.  my roommates had the press conference turned on.  i started crying again and sat down to watch, eager to hear what changes were being made.  as i sat there and watched these inspired brethren talk about this decision, i knew.  i KNEW.  it was time for me to serve a mission.  it felt so right.

so many things came to my mind at this moment in time, and it all seemed so simple.  like the little voice inside me that's wondered why i haven't found a guy that i'm interested in at college yet.  or the fact that i'm really worried about making it through next semester because i have absolutely NO money.  or the two jobs that i'm trying to decide on for next summer.  or the decision to stay and go to school for the summer or not.

it's clear to me now that it is time for me to serve a mission.  the Lord has prepared me to serve at this time in my life.  i know there are a lot of people that feel this way.  but it's not a matter to me of "jumping on the bandwagon" or doing it because i feel obligated.

the choice to me is simple now:  i'm going.  and not for me, either.  if i was going for me, i wouldn't be going.  and not for my parents or my friends or my leaders.  i'm going for the Lord.  and i'm going to bring people unto Christ.

the Lord works in the most mysterious ways.  this was a day in history.  i feel so much peace and so much gratitude for the Lord.  truly, He knows me.  He has a plan for me.  He is guiding my life.

and now, it's time to trust Him.
i'm serving a mission.
i'm so excited!


Lindsey said...

I love this. I may or may not have called my bishop right after the morning session...

Julia said...

Shay, I'm so excited that you have decided to go! You will for sure be an amazing missionary and will touch the lives of many. Everything makes so much more sense now! I love that we will be able to write letters to each other on our missions! Life is great! Love you!

Matt and Misti said...

All I can say is when I heard this announcement my first thought was you. I have always thought you would be such an amazing missionary, but I didn't say much because I know how it feels to feel like other people think you should do something, but you aren't sure yourself. Oh my! I think the Lord had you in mind when he revealed this to our leaders. He needs your powerful testimony out there to help His children learn who they really are. So excited for you! Love you lots!

Michelle said...

You will be a remarkable missionary, and the mission you are called to serve in will be so fortunate to have you. I am so proud of you and so excited for you.

Shaylee K said...

thanks you guys. i'm so glad i have so much support. love you all!