since being home, my life seems to be moving in slow motion. it seems like every day is saturday. lemme just say,

limbo. is. driving. me. INSANE. 

i want to go to the MTC NOW.

i've been thinking about how hard it's going to be.  saying goodbye to my friends and family for 18 months is going to be the hardest part.  yesterday i got my hair cut and we were talking about how hard that part of a mission is.  why don't they just make it so you can talk to your family?  why can't i just call up my mom and tell her how my day tracting went?  that would make it so much more bearable for me!

and then janelle, cutting my hair, made a comment that i had never before considered.

"you can't talk to your parents or your siblings or your friends or anyone else because the Lord simply wants to give you the experience of total sacrifice." 

i had never thought about it that way. but of course that's it!  anything worth doing in life is hard.  incredibly so!  if i were just going to hong kong to spread the gospel and still had comforts of home -- cell phone, computer, talking privileges to my family and friends -- then i don't think it would mean the same to me.  i am not going just because i feel duty bound to do so.  i am not going on a mission because everyone else is.  i am not going on a mission because i feel that others want me to go.

i am going to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to show the Lord what i am giving up for HIM.

2 months and counting! .... :)

by the way, ^ this guy is the new stake president!
he is going to be SO great.


Lindsey said...

Hahaha I know exactly what you mean by limbo. That's why I'm still taking first block classes :) Love you Shay!

Matt and Misti said...

you are amazing and will be amazing. I'd be pretty scared if that is what my Stake Pres really looked like! Ha ha.