HERE I GO!

i'm so excited.  tonight i get set apart as a full-time servant of the Lord to go preach His gospel in China.  Hong Kong, to be exact.  i couldn't be more thrilled!

please check my mission blog for updates:  sistershayleekwilcox.blogspot.com

LOVE YOU ALL!  thank you for your continued love, support, and prayers in my behalf.

and now starts my adventure!

OH, PRIMARY

i forgot what a joy primary is.  i remember being in primary and being so excited to get candy, or play hangman when the lesson ended, or sing the songs really loud, or give a talk, or hide our scriptures in the bushes outside the window {haha, we really did that.... oops}, or prepare an object lesson that one of my teachers asked us to prepare.  primary was fun.  i got to substitute a class today!  lemme tell ya, it was awesome.

i went into the classroom of 10 year olds, and said, "hey guys! i'm your teacher today!"

responses: "oh cool" "who are you?" "sweet!"

so i said, "do you guys know who i am?"

class: "no.."

me:  "do you know who jaren wilcox is?"

one little girl: "he's my brother's friend! how do you know him??!"

i started laughing. "he's my brother!"

man, it was funny.

and then we went into sharing time.  i haven't been in sharing time since i was in primary.  it was so fun and nostalgic and cute.  the kids in primary have the sweetest little spirits.  their innocence and joy and love for life is so special and cute.  but something hit me today that has never, ever, ever crossed my mind before.

in sharing time, the majority of the teachers were men.  now, the world would have us think that men are supposed to be rough & tough.  NOT sensitive.  rub some dirt in it, stick it to the man, strong, fierce, prideful.  but these men of the Lord?  i watched them tousle little boys' heads and high-five little girls and whisper the answers to them and watch over their little children with such love and humility. but what got me the most was when they started singing.  these men -- grown men, with jobs and degrees and families and experience -- were singing primary songs about jesus and birthdays and sunshine and happiness.

my heart melted. 

the gospel changes us.  it makes us better.  it is so beautiful. 

EMBRACING THE CULTURE

yes, yes that's right folks.  this week, I ATE SUSHI FOR THE FIRST TIME.  it was erin and aubrey's birthdays this week so i trekked down to Provo and all my girls and i went out for sushi!  i was actually pleasantly surprised to find out that i liked most of it a lot!

EXCEPT.
the one covered in raw fish / fish eggs. 

if that's not the grossest thing you've ever heard of or seen in your life, i don't know what is.  the fish eggs reminded me of the one time i've been fishing with my grandpa and the fish that i caught laid eggs all over the boat.   DIS GUST ING.

buuuut, i mean, i guess i should get used to it. i'm sure they eat raw stuff in Hong Kong!

there it is... the one on the left... nooo thank youuuu.

not sure why this is so blurry...

jaydynn, ashley, julia, aubrey, melina, me, and erin.  SUSHI YA! 

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

story 1.  heber valley does this thing every year called piano festival.  aka, the worst weekend of the year.

{just kidding, mom!}

okay, so it's not the worst weekend of the year.  i will admit piano festival has helped me to become the confident pianist i am today.  however, it's way super stressful and we're always glad when it's over.  like, parker does heel clicks out of the building and we all scream and shout and cheer, "woo hoo! it's OVER!"

so anyway, tonight we were at the awards ceremony and it began with an opening prayer.  i didn't think a thing of it until after the prayer when someone nudged me and said, "we are so mormon."  i laughed and agreed, "yeah."

but then as i sat there, i sort of felt ashamed of myself.  yes, we are so mormon.  AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?! 

story 2.  last night, i was at a bachelorette party for one of my friends from high school.  {and just as an aside, it is the most bizarre thing that almost everyone i know is getting married off or leaving on a mission.  it just seems like we're all so old.  what happened to trick-or-treating and stake dances and eating lunch on the linoleum floor of the high school commons?} at one point during the party, we were talking about how people that decide they're going on a mission should start acting like it.  they are now full time representatives of Jesus Christ and His church.  we have a high standard to uphold, a high bar to reach.

as a "mormon" and a member of Jesus Christ's church, i am going to do my best to be proud of who i am.  yes, we are so mormon, we are representing Jesus Christ, we pray before public community meetings in this small little town of mine, and you know what?

we happen to be extremely blessed.  people would kill to be where we are, doing what we do.

let's decide to live it, and love it.  

oh yeah, and here's a pic of the bachelorette party for your viewing pleasure.

TONIGHT

.... wait. let me back up and preface this little story with this:  i have been babysitting so much lately.  this week alone, i have been gone from like 8 in the morning until at least 9 or 10 at night.  it's been pretty nuts.  i now know why moms of little kids yearn for adult conversation every once in a while.  i feel like i talk baby talk all the time.  sometimes i catch myself and laugh.  it's been fun being able to "practice" being a mom.  i really love these kids that i spend hours with. but back to the story.

so.  tonight,

i was babysitting.  {shocker.}  i had put the kidlets in bed and was watching american idol while straightening up the disaster of a playroom.  all of a sudden i hear, "miss shayleeeee!!"  {maddie calls me "miss shaylee."  cutest thing ever.}  so i go upstairs to her room and poke my head in the door.

"what, maddie girl?"

"um, my finger started hurting."

i looked at it.  no blood, no scrapes, no nothing.  i kissed it and said, "does it feel better now?"  maddie smiled at me.  "yep!"  i shook my head at her and said, "okay maddie, time to go to sleep now, okay?"

"okay.  goodnight! see you in the morning!"

"goodnight maddie. see you in the morning."

"yeah! see you in the morning too!"  this is a direct quote. haha sooo stinkin' cute.

and i go back downstairs.

literally 30 seconds later: "miss shayleeeee!!!"  i ignored it.  "miss shayleeee!!!"  trudge back up the stairs.  poke my head in the door.  this time, it's that the light is too bright in the hallway.  i turn it off, say, "maddie, you really need to go to sleep, okay?" and after another round of kisses and hugs and 'goodnights', i'm headed back down the stairs.

this happened about 12 more times.

after i finally convinced her to go to sleep {or she got too tired to keep coming up with excuses}, i had some time by myself to just sit and think.  and lemme tell ya...

i love this part of what i'm doing right now.  

i love kids and their sweet spirits, their innocence, their laughter, their tight hugs, their messy kisses, their freedom.  they are absolutely precious.  Heavenly Father knew what He wanted me to do these months before my mission.  i can say wholeheartedly that i am in love with my life right now.

God is in charge.  i can either wish for time to go by faster and miss what's right in front of me, or i can embrace the beauty in every day, every hour, every minute.  i can either be frustrated that maddie wants me to go upstairs 15 times after i've tucked her in, or i can be grateful that she trusts me, that i'm there for her, and that her sweet spirit can affect me and the way i think.

yes.  yes he is.  and how grateful i am! 

VALENTINE'S DAY

the day of love consisted for me of:

• making homemade valentines for everyone in my family
• getting a box of my favorite cereal from my mom 
• babysitting little ones and helping them make v-day crafts
• costa vida with my fave girls
• taking a birthday pic to send to morgie poo for her birthday! 
• going to see safe haven
• actually getting a rose from the movie theater!! fun! 

"10 ways to love: listen, speak, give, pray, answer, share, enjoy, trust, forgive, promise." 

-will smith

A BURNING BUSH

lately - as in, the past week or so - my life has been, it seems, a series of little moments that i want to capture forever.  perhaps it's a series of tender mercies the Lord is giving me right before i embark on my great adventure.

i can't say i take credit for finding this great quote, but i can say that i absolutely fell in love with it the moment i heard it.

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees
takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries. 
          -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

i was fighting tears. this poem fits exactly how i've been feeling about the past few weeks.

when my dad was called to be the stake president, i sat on a pew with my grandma, grandpa, and little cousin.  the three oldest on the bench cried our eyes out.  i sat there, bursting with pride and loyalty and humility and love for my daddy.  as the tears were squeezing out of my eyes and rolling down my face and sliding onto my shirt, i happened to notice my cousin looking at us.  first at my grandma.  then at me.  then at my grandpa.  he seemed a little confused as to why we were all crying.  my heart seemed to expand in less than a second.  all of a sudden, i felt so much LOVE i didn't even know if i could stand it.  i wanted to take my little cousin by the shoulders and say, "this is what love feels like. that's why we're crying."  it was a precious moment, one that was "crammed with heaven."

another time, when i knocked on the door to babysit the little girl that i've grown to love, i saw her peeking out the glass of the window by the door.  when she saw it was me, her whole face scrunched up with the biggest smile.  there went my heart -- expanding yet again.  later that day, when i went to answer the calls that meant her nap was over, she smiled again and reached for me like she trusted me.  i know she's not my own child, but spending all day {for many days} with this little one has made her dear to me.  and these sweet moments alone with her are becoming special to me.

when my family sits down to read scriptures and ends up laughing till we're all holding our sides.  when one of my best friends leaves for the MTC and we say goodbye, but know it's not really goodbye.  when i get a letter from another one of my best friends and it makes me laugh and joyfully recall so many good memories.  when my cousin gives his farewell talk in church and makes us all cry.  and then after that we gather, young and old, to eat together -- a loud, crazy, chaotic party that makes my insides feel fuzzy because of how much i love it.  quiet time by myself in the temple, where i feel so much peace and love and the confusion of everyday life seems to melt away.

these little things in my life, these "common bushes", are afire with God.  it seems that my sweetest moments of late have been in the most commonplace things.  instead of thinking, "here we go, another calling, my dad's going to be even busier!" or "here goes another day of babysitting -- poopy diapers and whiny baby, here i come" or "yet another of my cousins is leaving on a mission", i have noticed the beauty in the little things.  just as Moses did when he noticed a common bush on fire.  i'm quoting again here, but a wise woman says it much better than i could:

He rewarded Moses for turning aside, seeking out the miracle.  We will also be rewarded for seeking out the miracles.... We can train our eyes to see the "bush afire with God" -- to notice the things that could not be, without the influence of the Lord.