A NEW JOURNEY

i wish i could write like this.  or like this.

but i can't, and that's okay.  i'll just deal with my own writing and thoughts and ideas and feelings. 

today i feel very pensive.  this week there are a lot {and i mean a LOT} of different emotions running through my head:  fear. anxiousness. excitement. happiness. giddiness. anxiety. nostalgia. regret. impatience.

these things swirl about in my mind when i am not occupied doing anything else.  like these long, boring hours at work when no one is coming in, no phone calls have to be made, and i have hours to sit here and reflect.  there's a def leppard song that says, "from memory there is no hiding place."  it's so true.  no matter how much you try to forget, the memories sneak back into your mind when you're least expecting them. 

that's what makes it hard.

but on the other hand, i know that a new beginning is coming.  so soon.  and i'm so excited to be able to have that.  a step in a new {but familiar} direction.  a right direction, a good direction.  i don't have any idea what lies at the end of that road, but i'm excited to start the journey.  it's bound to have memories that hurt, just like the old journey did.  and it's also bound to come with so much love, joy, excitement, and happiness -- just like the old journey. 

but i'm hoping that just maybe...  this new journey will be better. 

and i don't have to wait much longer to begin.

DEAR MELINA,

i snapped these pictures when we "met" steven over skype.  and you didn't even know.

now he's leaving for 2 years to richmond, virginia.  what a great missionary he'll be!  i'm so glad you guys found each other for the summer and that you got to spend a little time with such a great guy.  it'll be so much fun to write him on his mission.

love you mina may!

love,

shay

24 OF 30

from 30 things. 

describe the family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

we often talk about how great the "good old days" were.  the good old days, where we rode our bikes in the street in nothing but our swimsuits, and in the winter we'd pull each other on a sled just in the backyard.  where mom and dad were in charge and we'd just play.  where school was fun and your teacher was like your mom and your best friend combined.

some days i wish i could go back to being a kid.  it's weird to think about what has changed since then.  when i was a kid, life seemed simpler. 

but other days, i'm happy to be where i am.  my family is changing and growing up and it's fun.

we're old enough now to play games together.  we joke with each other and laugh together and talk about serious things.  we help plan our family vacations and everyone is expected to help.  there are almost 5 drivers in the family now if parker would hurry up and get his permit.  school isn't that fun anymore, and tests and act scores and getting into college and paying for things lay heavily on our minds, rather than who ate the popsicles out of the freezer.  we have developed our relationships with each other, and we still fight and argue, but who doesn't?

life is ever changing.  it rolls on, we change and grow up, but it's so good.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"man radiates what he is, and that radiation affects to a greater or lesser degree every person who comes within that radiation .... every moment of life you are living, you are affecting the whole world."

-- president david o. mckay

HAPPY 19TH JEWELS!

happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JULIA

happy birthday to you!

top ten reasons why i love my best friend jewels:

#1:  we laugh.  a lot.  one of my favorite things to do is laugh with julia.  we have basically the same sense of humor and it is soooo great.  julia can always make me laugh, even when it feels like the world is ending and all i want to do is die.  when i was sick last year, jewels brought me a powerade with a ton of our inside jokes written on it.  it made me feel 1000 times better!  she is good at making any bad situation better :)

#2:  we cry.  not a lot, but sometimes.  it is the best to have a friend to cry with.  the best cry session we ever had was one night at byu... i walked over to julia's apartment, asked if i could borrow her room, and we sat in there and cried our eyes out on the bed together.  we laugh together AND cry together.  i love it. 

#3:  jewels is sooooo good at giving advice.  i love talking to her about everything under the sun -- be it boys, family, friends, boys, school, work, boys, church, self, boys... julia always has great things to say and prime advice to offer.  we can talk for hours on end and never get sick of it!  we joke that we talk about the same things over and over, but we never get sick of hearing about each other's dramas and stories!  in high school, we nicknamed her "oprah" because she was always so good at listening and advising!  julia is a fantastic listener.  such a great quality to have in a best friend!

#4:  she sets goals and follows through with them.  totally not a strong point of mine.  but she always has been a great example to me of getting things done.  she is super organized and always has a plan for EVERYTHING.  i think i need to be a little more like that haha.

#5:  she is a dang good student.  her study skills are soooo much better than mine.  this kind of goes along with number four... julia always puts the effort in and studies for tests, goes to class, takes good notes, and wants to succeed.  she's a good example to me like that!

#6:  she likes to do things i like to do!  dance party, shop, go running, eat (bahaha), dance party, write in her journal, blog, dance party... it's super fun to do things together because we like the same things! we are always having tons of fun together. 

#7:  she has a strong testimony and pushes me to be better.  that's what true friends are for, right?

#8:  she isn't afraid of who she is.  she's funny and crazy and fun and she's not afraid to show it!  it doesn't matter what people say, she'll be julia marin snow whether they like it or not! haha i  love this!

#9:  gangsta dancing is her specialty.  nothing like throwin' on the dude shorts, the dude jacket, a nice high side pony, and rockin' out.  yo yo all my homies....

#10:  we made it through high school together and are still best friends in college.  not many can say that!  we learned a lot in high school and we were always there for each other no matter what!  to this day, we are still there for each other -- learning and growing and laughing and crying and making our way through life!  BFFs yo!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEWELS! HOPE YOUR DAY IS THE BEST YET! :)

love ya sis!

CHOOSE

last night at institute, a rhetorical question was asked that i have been thinking about ever since:

who am i according to the choices i have made?

choices have defined my life.  they've defined yours, too.  good or bad, the choices we make determine who we are. 

i think back on the choices i've made that have affected me for good.  going to church.  going to byu.  going to girls camp and school and seminary and institute and the top of mountains and the back field of my house and out on the lake... places where i've been able to think and decide who i am and who i'm going to be.  friends that i've made that have taught me something and influenced me to be better.  people i look up to and say, i want to be like them someday.

i think back on the choices i've made that have affected me for bad.  and these are part of who i am, too.  people i shouldn't have been with or places i shouldn't have been.  the natural man that overcomes all of us at some point in our lives.  hard things that i chose to go through, when there could have been an easier way.

but you know?  i wouldn't take back any of these choices today.  i am who i am because of the choices i have made.  i am weak, silly, naive, forgetful, immature, unfinished around the edges, and imperfect.  but i am also strong, smart, brave, happy, hopeful, and willing to make sacrifices in order to become perfect. 

the Savior made it possible for me to feel this way, because although i have made oodles of mistakes in my short life, He always stands there ready and willing to help me get back on my feet.  it doesn't mean that i can feel justified in making mistakes.  i don't.  i won't.  ever.  but because of His selfless, atoning sacrifice, i can be a little better every day. 

i don't love all the choices i've made in my life.  but because of the Savior, i choose to love who i am.  and i wouldn't change it for the world.

PIONEER DAY WEEKEND

happy pioneer day to you and you and you! a little taste of mine:

mary kathryn will make a great missionary!

days of' '47 parade with these cuties was the bomb!

and the rest of my holiday was spent at seven peaks with my family.  i swear life couldn't get any better right now :)