THE PLACE I FEEL AT HOME

Happy Sunday!  I am feeling so incredibly grateful for temples today.

{And for those of you that don't know much about Mormon temples, you can click here to find out more!}

I have been a temple worker in Provo for the past 6 months.  I had to quit a few months ago because of my work schedule.  I miss it.  Every Wednesday, I would wake up at 5:30 to be there by 6:15.  (And if you know me, you know how much I dislike mornings.  I thought my mission would cure me of that but it didn't really.) One particular morning, I was SO close to going back to bed and telling my coordinator I couldn't make it.  I was just too tired.  It was just too early.  But, remembering my new motto to do hard things, I went.  On this particularly hard morning, an older woman dressed in white leaned over to me while I was helping her, and whispered, "Thank you for being here this morning so I could be."

I FELT SO GUILTY AND SO GOOD AT THE SAME TIME.

It is such a treat and privilege to serve in the temple.  I'm so glad I went when I was exhausted.  It was so worth it, just for that sweet comment.

“And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift.” (4 Nephi 1:3)

There are many things that I still do not understand about the temple, and many concepts and symbols that I will probably never fully grasp.

However, one thing I have learned about is equality and commonality in the temple. Once inside, everyone changes into simple, white clothing. Everyone truly has “all things common among them” — including dress. There is no one more privileged than the other. All who enter the temple do so to make covenants (or sacred promises) with God. If they are not there for themselves, they are doing work for the dead; serving those that have already passed on and making available those covenants they could not make while they were on the earth.

Rich and poor class does not matter in the temple, nor can anyone tell. There is no bond and free; instead, as this scripture so beautifully and poetically describes, everyone is made free.

I have heard a lot of people say that the commandments and covenants we make restrict us. In reality, I think they free us. When our judgment isn’t clouded by physical appetites — sex, drugs, alcohol, money (just to name a few) — we are able to be true to ourselves. God created us to be free. He gave us the gift of our agency. To me, that is a heavenly gift indeed. I love the ability to choose for myself to obey God’s commandments. Going to the temple isn’t something I feel forced to do because I’ve made covenants there. It is a place I feel drawn to because I receive answers there. It is truly God’s house, somewhere I will always feel clean, pure, having all things in common with those around me, beautiful, and free.

LIFE & RAIN

Sometimes I get a huge urge to write...  and I don't even know what I want to write about.  I heard once that writing is taking all the emotions in your heart/brain and putting them on paper in the form of words.

So, here goes. 

It's been raining a lot lately.  It pit-patters down and makes me remember Hong Kong.  It doesn't rain here like it does there.  In fact, a lot of people would argue that we've seen some pretty good rainstorms in the past few weeks.

No no no.

Utah doesn't know a "pretty good rainstorm".  Pretty good rainstorm means that you can't go outside for one second without getting soaked to the bone.  Pretty good rainstorm = upturned umbrellas and no more makeup and puddles and Crocs and everything inside your purse is wet.

Before, the rain made me sad and depressed.

Today, I couldn't be more happy.  Rather than feeling like the sky is crying, I feel like it's so happy it just burst and a million little drops of happiness is spilling onto the ground and covering us all.  Maybe it's because I've been really happy in life lately.  I moved into a really great apartment with super awesome roommates and an incredible ward, and I guess what I'm saying is life is really, really good right now.

Probably because:

Parker got his mission call to Argentina. I mean, he broke the Asian trend in our family, so we're a little mad, but mostly SUPER stoked for him ;)

I tried Waffle Love for the first time and almost died because it was so good.

We got to Skype this little cutie in Japan!!! I MISS HER SO MUCH.

We had mission reunion...

...after mission reunion at my old comp's wedding. SO FUN!

Aaaaand, the Payson temple open house was probably the best, prettiest, most grand and beautiful thing I've ever seen.  If you haven't gone, YOU NEED TO GO. It ends this week! 

What I'm saying is, although I didn't used to like the rain, it's making me change my perspective.  Life doesn't have to be perfect to be absolutely wonderful.  We don't need everything to be happy.  So if it rains on our parade, why don't we just smile and parade on? 

READY TO FLY

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about comfort zones.

It's easy for us, as humankind, to stay as we are.  It's comfortable, easy, no effort required.  We can float (instead of kicking our legs) and calmly and easily make it through life.

And yet how fulfilling is that?

I've been craving hard things lately.  I've felt stagnant for the past few months and it's really bothered me.  I want to push myself to my limits and see where my potential really is.  I want to see what is out there for me!  I want to chase my dreams and throw caution to the wind and stretch and grow and feel passionately about the things I'm doing.  I yearn to feel success and achievement.

So what am I doing?

I am going to run a marathon in September.  A full on, 26.2 miles.  It scares the heebie jeebies out of me.  But I want to do it precisely because it scares me.

I am also starting as a Cantonese teacher at the Missionary Training Center.  That also completely freaks me out.  It's going to be an exhausting, tiring, inspiring, mind-boggling, energy-requiring job. One that will humble me a lot and hopefully help me grow.

Before, I never really liked the saying "do something every day that scares you."  That sentence alone scared me.  Now, I'm ready to jump in head-first!  I want to chase my passions and dreams.  I'm finally understanding this:

I don't want to confine myself anymore.  God gave me wings, and I want to fly!

BIKING THROUGH LIFE

Imagine this. 

You're 5 years old again.  You're learning how to ride a bike.  It's hard work!  You're trying to pedal and balance and steer and look like you're having fun, all while your mom mans the video camera and your dad shouts tips from somewhere behind you because he's just given you a push start.  

Okay, you think, I've got this.

And all of a sudden, you start to fall.  It seems to come in slow motion.  Your heart jumps to your throat and your face is about to meet the pavement.  Your hands come up to break your fall and you feel stinging on the palms of your hands as well as your knees.  The bike lands on top of you and you hear cries of dismay from the people you love that are watching.  

And now, you've got a decision to make.  You can either quit right then and there, or you can get up and do it again.  And again.  And again.  Maybe 10 more times.  Maybe 20.  Until you get it.  

And not only keep moving, but keep trying.  Because it takes practice to learn how to move forward in the first place. Moving is different than trying because once you've learned, you can move forward without really trying.

For instance, a bad day is like a fall on a bike.  Everything comes together to smack you in the face.  all you want to do is sit down and cry, and give up.

But then you remember when you were 5.  And you were learning to ride a bike.  And you wanted to give up so many times, but you didn't. And now you can ride a bike.

Maybe if you get up, get out of bed, brush off the dust now, in the midst of your bad day, you'll look back one day being able to do something you couldn't do once.

And you'll smile. 

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY

This is for YOU.

You, with the long hair. Or short hair. Or no hair. Every mother, daughter, sister, grandmother, friend, neighbor. You are beautiful. Kind. Generous. Soft. Independent. Courageous. Important. Loving. Strong. Inspiring. Smart. Active. Funny. Radiant. Talented. Motivated. Opinionated. Young. Old. You are a woman.





You have struggles.  Perhaps it's junior high, wanting to be included.  Maybe you're in high school, wondering about the future.  You're in college, waiting to be loved.  Or you're a mother, wearing yourself out for your little ones.  You're battling cancer, wishing you could stop the pain. You mourn for lost loved ones.  You live paycheck to paycheck. You want the blessing of children, but haven't been able to conceive.

You also have triumphs.  You received a promotion at work.  You ran a marathon, tears mingled with sweat streaming down your face as you crossed the finish line, hands held high.  You got an A on an important test.  You can smile through the pain.  You made dinner -- and didn't burn it.  You spoke up for something you believed in.  You are a leader.  You made it through yet another day.  Your children learn and grow.

You have a divine role in society.  You aren't a woman on accident.  You were made this way. God made you with all the qualities you possess on purpose.  He loves you.  He loves all of His daughters.

You were meant to shine.

You were meant to be wonderful. 

You were meant to do great things.  Even if those things seem small to other people.

Embrace womanhood.  Embrace you.  Embrace the woman God intended you to be.

ATTITUDE CHECK

These days were the best days of my life.  Seriously.

Serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Hong Kong, China was the best thing I've ever done.

I had the best experiences with the best people and learned soooo much.

Some days, I look back through my pictures and want to be there again.  I want to be a missionary, live in China, serve other people 24/7, eat rice and fish, and be totally immersed in the gospel.

But also, I'm glad to be where I am right now.  The Lord has blessed me a LOT, and I know He's got a grand plan for me.  I have to trust Him exactly like I did on the mission.  I always knew that even when it was hard, He would pull through for us.  The hard things were for our good.  It was easier to see when I was a missionary.

Whit {my sis} emailed yesterday and talked about the hard things of her mission.  And I was reminded for a second of how hard it really was.  I tend to look back at only the good times and good things.  But being in Hong Kong was hard, too.

I guess, no matter where you are in life, the good things are good and the bad things are bad, and it all just depends on what you dwell on.  Happiness or misery.  It's all about our attitude!

MY LOVES

• moms that text/snapchat you back.  alllllll day long.  {i mean you'd think she'd get annoyed. nope.  she's always there with a comment for my texts that are mostly just my continuous train of thought for the day.}
• friends.  like, best friends.  ones you can be completely and totally 100% yourself with.  ones that celebrate your birthday for 3 days straight and shower you with love and gifts.  ones that you'll never get sick of seeing and being with, because every moment is fun with them, even the moments when you're sprawled in comfortable silence in the living room saying absolutely nothing.  
• days when you feel pretty.  we all have days when we don't but let's be real...  there's that one day in a million when you wake up and everything seems to go right.  you look in the mirror and you think "hey, she's not half bad" and wink and go about your day, feeing confident.
• tests with good scores.
• cloudy skies -- but not too cold outside.  prime.
• closing your eyes and taking a trip through hong kong's crowded streets in your mind {and you know every detail -- smell, turn, sounds, the works} 
• aaaaand... these things...

11-year-old wedding dates

missionary sisters!! and asian shrines
{i seriously miss seeing these everywhere}

exhausted stake presidents/dads

a bride and 3 bridesmaids
aka best friends

visits from mission friends

birthday cakes and home


happy love month, everyone <3